Alan Kalter’s Hair is Red

Already having checked off everything else on my Summer of George list, I had one more stop I wanted to make.  This was going to be a tough one, The Late Show with David Letterman.  You see, getting into shows is a difficult task and takes persistence.  Michelle and I were disappointed earlier in the summer because her roommate was an intern for ABC and could’ve gotten us tickets for Regis and Kelly or the View, but we had to work so it couldn’t be done.  Letterman tapes later in the day so I knew I could swing it.

I checked for when they would be taping which is sporadic all summer, two weeks here, a week there, etc. While walking past the Ed Sullivan two weeks before I was leaving, I found out they were taping through the remainder of my visit and signed up to be in a raffle for tickets for the second week so it wouldn’t interfere with my project.

On the Monday after my project I still hadn’t heard about the ticket so I decided to sign up for standby tickets for that day. In order to get standby tickets you have to call the standby line at 11:00 am and get a number.  I started calling right when it opened and got a busy signal.  For the next 20 minutes I kept calling over and over and was about to give up until I finally got through.  She said I was eligible for standby number 1 and I had to answer a Late Show Trivia question.  It was “What color is Late Show announcer Alan Kalter’s hair?”  Answer: Red.  I answered without hesitation and passed.  I had the number 1 spot for the 4:30 pm taping and asked what about the 7:00 pm because I knew they were taping twice, but she said I would be way further down the list.  Lucky for me, I had nothing to do at work anyway so I decided to leave early and come back after to make sure nothing was pressing.

I had to be at the theater at 3:30 pm to get in line and wait for all the ticket holders to get their seat before they let any standbys in.  When I got there, they had a big pool on 53rd for some kind of dog shenanigans.  Even though I was number 1 in the line I was still very scared I wouldn’t be let in.  The production assistant lined us up and gave a spiel about how it looked good for the people in the front, but those in the back shouldn’t get their hopes up.  This wasn’t comforting as the number 2 and 3 guys said the last time they tried to get in they didn’t let any standbys see the show.

We were moved to the front of the theater in our line and waited as the rest of the ticket holders were let in to the theater.  The line seemed to go on forever and with every person that entered our chances dwindled more and more.  The production assistant was nowhere to be seen and I was getting confident that I wasn’t seeing Letterman.

Finally, she came out with an emotionless expression.  It just wasn’t looking good for anybody.  She walked up and said, “I have a party of 1 and a party of 2? Come with me”.  We rushed in with looking back.  I had to let go of feeling bad for the number 4 guy who I chatted with while waiting.

We were brought up to the balcony and lead to folding chairs as far back as possible.  There were two at center stage so I offered to give those seats to the other guys.  They didn’t have another seat set so I momentarily got worried I would be out of luck for my kindness, but the staff went out of their way to take out another folding chair and set it up in the furthest corner of the place that had a clear shot of the desk.  Fine with me.

The ball got rolling with a warm up comedian who was supposed to get the crowd laughing and then they introduced Paul Schaffer and the CBS Orchestra.  They also introduced Alan and finally Dave.  Before every show he comes out and answers a question.  Some lady from Glenview asked which celebrity he would want to be with.  Naturally, Dave didn’t answer the personal question.  Biff gave signals that it was time for the show to start and everybody on set raced to their spots.  I was amazed how the show ran live.  They don’t do retakes and everything you see on the TV is in real time.  During commercial breaks, the orchestra plays songs the whole way through.  Paul Schaffer is unbelievably talented.

Hearing Alan Kalter announce the show was so exciting, something I wanted to hear live for a long time.  I love the way he says “orchestrAHH”.  The show was a good one.  I laughed as fake breaking news about Brett Favre interrupted the show three times.  Letterman is pretty spastic on stage with all of the flicking pencils and weird antics which was funny to see. The only thing I wished would have seen was a Rupert bit, but it’s all good.

The big pool outside was for dogs to run and jump into.  You could hear the dogs barking during the taping because the theater is right on the street.  The best part of the pool stuff was when Seth Rogan tried to beat the dogs jumping distance himself in his full suit.  I appreciate a comedian who is willing to have no shame.

I told my parents to tape the show to see if I got on camera and I did.  You could see a shadow of arms waving all the way in the back corner.  That was me.  Hah.  It was a fun time and I’m happy it worked out.

-George the Appreciator of Dry Humor

At the Late Show

Dog Jumping Pool